The 101st
Today is my mom’s birthday. She would have been 101 if she were still alive. Of course, she (and my dad, who would have been 102 in February) live on in memory.
I hesitated to write this entry, because it will deal with controversial issues. While it’s important to write about these, I was concerned that my skills were not up to the task. I expressed as much to a supportive friend, who told me that whatever I decided, it would be the right thing.
And then I thought about Mom, and her remarkable life, and this remarkable day. Out of respect for her, and Dad, and that greatest generation, I thought I would try after all. Bear with me: this will be a somewhat long journey.
Here, on Mom’s birthday, at least three significant events occurred. (1) The world mourned the passing of one of our greatest scientists - Stephen Hawking; (2) A congressional race in Pennsylvania was being decided, possibly in favor of the Democratic party, by the thinnest of margins; (3) All around the United States, kids were leaving school to march for change.
When Mom was born, there was no Stephen Hawking. There was in 1917 no Spanish Flu pandemic, no Great Depression, no World War II, no atomic bomb, no Iron Curtain, no Cold War, no riots (Detroit and elsewhere), no energy crisis, and few if any mass shootings. She was born into a world embroiled in the Great War. Europe’s turmoil would create new borders, starvation and poverty, relocation, reparations, lingering resentment, and a series of actions that would ultimately lead to the Great Depression here and elsewhere, and eventually to and through the global disaster of World War II.
She and Dad had to live with many fears, three of which stood out: fear of no food, fear of eviction, fear of going off to war overseas. Of course they lived through all this, so the story turned out better for them in the end – much better than the thousands of families who lost people in the conflict. But to the best of my knowledge, one thing she and Dad never lived through was a mass shooting in a school.
At a town hall with a local politician, one of our residents asked this question: “When I was growing up, we didn’t have this worry, about guns in schools, and arming our teachers, and such. What’s changed?”
What, indeed? Certainly not the Second Amendment to the Constitution, whose words have been debated almost since the day they were written. And before we put guns front and center, either for or against, the better question may be, what got us here? What are the reasons for the decision to take up a weapon with the intent to inflict maximum harm on people? What distinguishes our country from others?
Nearly every day, we wake up to stories of multiple-fatality incidents, nearly always involving assault weapons or multiple weapons, in schools or public venues or churches, in Connecticut and Colorado, Florida and South Carolina and Las Vegas. We imbibe our morning coffee, shaking our heads at the latest round of violence, and while the debate rages about guns and other sources, the NRA vs. those seeking some control over our weaponry, do we get down to the issue at hand? Really?
Aren’t these our children? All of them?
What do they see?
They are upset enough to march from their schools today, to declare by leaving the institution which is at least intended safely to educate them, that they wish for change. Others already deride them for being misguided about what the Second Amendment is all about. That may be true. And in our society, being respectful of the entire constitution means this: That I as a citizen of these United States of America and beholden to our Constitution, do uphold the right of the students for peaceful assembly, and the right to raise awareness of these issues affecting them; equally do I uphold the right of those who express disdain for this action or more importantly, who would take the opposing view. Both sides of the dialog are required if we are to reach a sensible solution.
Let’s play this a bit further and shift gears to Pennsylvania, which has seen both a political rally by our president and an extremely close vote. What is certain about this situation is that the vote is close. The Republicans may be worried, the Democrats triumphant in their resurgence.
Pay no attention.
Instead, what we must come to grips with, if we are to advance as a nation, is that reasoning beings, each acting according to his or her conscience, split almost equally on a vote for representation. And what that means is that it is time to listen to each other. It is time to find common ground. There is plenty. We can, if we are brave, choose to work towards uniting. We can, if we are fearful, choose to remain divided.
This is tough medicine. It means that those of us who think we are progressive must see this through the lenses of those for whom progressiveness leads to tyranny; if we think we are conservative, we must see this through the lenses of those for whom conservatism leads to oppression. We examine ourselves most thoroughly when we do this; and in so examining do we give ourselves the privilege of opening up dialogue with our neighbors. In any argument, we have no standing without understanding.
Can we be passionate? Of course. Passion is strength. But remember, even in shouting matches, there are reasons propelling you and your adversary to raise your voices. Remember, too, that anger closes the mind. When we “see red,” we see no other color. We focus on winning our side, beating the other. For Pennsylvania – indeed, if we look at the popular presidential vote – for our entire nation, what does it benefit to win for ourselves and in so doing, lose half the country?
Return to schools. Should we debate guns? Absolutely. Do I have an answer? No, except for this – guns get in the way of the real conversations we could be having, about innovation in our schools, education opportunities that lead to jobs with futures instead of intolerable levels of debt. We might ask why we are dissatisfied with our schools, why we choose to medicate our children, how we as a society are prepared to address school bullying, or human trafficking in schools. We might also address the fragmentation and distraction of social media, the truth and fakery that reside in equal measure across the internet, informing and misinforming all of us, including our children.
Tough stuff, and you can (and therefore should) disagree with this assessment. That is your right. I expect you to exercise it, as I exercise the right to expression by putting these thoughts before you.
Lastly, we might take a moment to remember Stephen Hawking. He, like Franklin Delano Roosevelt, rose above personal adversity. While there must have been frequent moments of personal despair, neither of these men – Hawking, with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) that paralyzed him, and FDR, with polio that did the same – neither one gave these debilitating monsters permission to dampen their spirits. Instead, they rose and rose again to challenges they faced. For Hawking, this led to scientific thinking of the highest order. For FDR, this led to leadership through the most defining crises of an entire generation – crises whose reverberations continue to be felt even today.
I’ll conclude with this, intended for those who watch our sad, angry nation from overseas. America has always been in the process of finding its way. We are in the painful throes of that process today. It has created bitter discords that strain our generosity and threaten to stifle the innovation and curiosity that enable the progress of any nation, great or small.
The bravest thing we can do is find common ground. We must resolve our difficulties by painting a vision to take us all into the future. There are plenty of problems to address. We work best when we work together to resolve them and in so doing, clarify our vision to tackle the unknown problems to come.
So, Mom – on your 101st birthday: Happy birthday to you. A belated happy 102nd to you, Dad. Your children are still here, still struggling. The light is there, for all of us to see. Our task is to look up.
