Wrap-up - A Tale of Two Triangles: Fraud, Ethics, and Aspirational Behavior
It all comes down to this. If you’re just joining this post, see the previous six essays for details.
We began our journey by examining three foundations for ethical behavior:
Your own Center of Moments, that inner place you can go for strength; also, your own conscience or moral compass;
The enhanced Golden Rule, comprising both restraint (do not do to others that which is harmful to you) and action (do for others that which is good for you); and
Living Well Together — that aspirational goal so difficult for us even in small groups but also when we divide into tribes or preserve nations — but which is the foundation of freedom + responsibility.
We then explored two triangles commonly used in fraud and cybersecurity, but in a new way. We demonstrated how the Fraud Triangle — Pressure, Opportunity and Rationalization — is similar to the Nature Triangle of Pressure, Opportunity and Gratification. We also showed how the Fraud Triangle is really the Human Triangle, governing our transactional world.
We discussed how only humans rationalize; that in order to defraud others, we must first defraud ourselves; that rationalization can be a dangerous tool that leads us down corridors of reason, even pathways to violence. We discussed how these pathways can result in people reasoning their way to opposing conclusions and then insisting upon the absolute rightness of their position; thus, the “Sleep of Reason” Goya, the Spanish master artist warned us against.
From these dark pathways we moved to the Security Triangle, and as we did so, changed it from its traditional rendering to a pyramid-based view.
Where the Fraud, or Human Triangle is transactional, the Security Triangle is aspirational. Using the Security Triangle, we learned that we are on a continuous journey toward personal Integrity. We learned that Integrity is a foundation for our ability to be Available to others in two ways, by showing respect through undivided attention, and by showing respect through willingness both to be criticized and to understand each others’ points of view. And finally, we understood that both personal Integrity and Availability are necessary if we are to earn that rare privilege of someone sharing their most private confidences with us.
This has been a lot to absorb. Where does it ultimately lead us?
You may well disagree with much of this. I’d be the first to encourage that. (After all, that’s what being Available for criticism is all about.)
Perhaps its value lies in its simplicity. In our complex and noisy world, it’s easy to get lost in loud arguments, whataboutisms, moral equivalencies, yeah-buts, and all the rest. Sometimes it seems that for every moral position there’s an equal and opposite.
We live in a world in which we can often feel that our most deeply held values are under attack, regardless of whether we are liberal, progressive, conservative, religious, agnostic, capitalist, socialist, artistic, hardheaded, softhearted, intrinsic, extrinsic or any other label we may give ourselves or suffer to have imposed upon us (1). It may well be that, in an age of social media and pervasive digital surveillance, our self-inspection skills are dwindling. After all, we are both public and private creatures, and this balance is often challenging to maintain. Sometimes it feels as though our privacy, our right to be left alone, is under continuous, silent threat. Given our natural inclination to compare ourselves to others, as well as the tendency of people to put their best (and sometimes insincere) feet forward in social media settings, we may rarely give ourselves the luxury of uncritical self-examination.
For we are all wonderful creatures. If I look inside myself and am horrified by what I see — shortcomings, moral frailty, weaknesses and all the rest — then I am also denying the fact that despite all of these challenges (for they are challenges, not failings; temporary setbacks, not dead ends) I have been striving to be and to do that which, from whatever source, has been defined by me and for me to be good. I have been striving to fulfill the endless and ever-evolving promise of becoming a human.
So with you, in whatever place you find yourself. If you are young or just starting out, the outside world may hold endless promise (2). In the midst of busy careers, you may have all you can handle in juggling schedules, deadlines, children, elders, coworkers, and all the rest. Who has time to look inside? And as you reach, as I have, the time of looking back and looking in, you may begin to ask the questions of relevancy and worth — how relevant is your wisdom? How worthwhile, ultimately, your strivings? (3)
Self-reflection is the vacation within. It is how you find and re-anchor yourself to your center of moments, your conscience. Take a vacation from the outside world, if only for a few minutes, and remind yourself of your Center of Moments, the Golden Rule, and Living Well Together.
In day-to-day events, when faced with conflicts or when puzzling over certain people’s behavior, whether at work or in the news, stop to consider the Human Triangle of Pressure, Opportunity and Rationalization. Seek to understand how people may have arrived at contradictory conclusions via different corridors of reason. Recognize that you may have done so yourself. Questioning your own conclusions is the pathway to strengthening your convictions.
And in these times of reflection, remember the aspirational behaviors that will serve you well in your leadership journey. Build (and rebuild) your foundation of personal Integrity. Be Available to criticisms and other points of view — better ideas can often result from the alliance of alternate viewpoints. Be Available to people as well. And ultimately, if you are called into a Confidential situation, listen with compassion.
In the end, we are all we have. Perhaps these simple tools will help us, in some small way, to Live Well Together.
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(1) I simply couldn’t figure out the best way to include in this list various gender-identity labels, and for that I apologize. However, language has yet to catch up with reality here.
(2) Although here I pause and acknowledge all those going down pathways of isolation and despair, as we discussed earlier. The challenge in our busy world is somehow to identify those who may be feeling bullied or bypassed, and then to find ways to help and encourage them.
(3) In his book, “The Difficulty of Being Good,” Gurcharan Das describes how, after a busy career, he decided to reconnect with his philosophical roots (he had studied philosophy at Harvard in his youth), by studying the great Indian epic, the Mahabharata. When he declared his intent to his wife, she told him he must be experiencing a mid-life crisis. His mother, however, said he was suffering from vanaprastha melancholy. Vanaprastha means “one who goes to the forest,” where one spends time in reflection and search for meaning. Perhaps this is why I walk in the woods so much these days.
